Hello, you have dialed
(just put your number, no dashes)

The tall, accomplished man you're calling can't come to the phone right now because they're
on Reddit.
Ripping out mass loads of weights.
Polishing their monocle smile.
Cracking walnuts with their man mind.
Building an orphanage with their barehands while playing a sweet, sweet lulluby for those children with two mallets against their abs xylophone.